The Way the Cookie Crumbles
The way an oatmeal cookie crumbles,
a football kicked off tumbles,
a government burocrat bungles,
a long freight train rumbles,
a young torero stuns fighting bulls,
a belly full of rutabaga casserole grumbles;
that bozo so many facts jumbles,
that old stumble-bum so often stumbles,
that halfback half of his reps still fumbles,
from the center out a flower umbels,
Uncle G., though every word he mumbles,
all difficulties, he will overcome 'em.
Lyrics he forgets, notes he just hums 'em.
The cream of the crop, he steams 'em 'n he creams 'em.
Steamed up by high-rollers, he steam rollers 'em,
jerks who jerk his chain soon go down the drain.
When traitors betray him, no see ya later, alligator.
Given the back o' your hand, your backside will get tanned.
You're the type who, to get the upper hand, will play the dirtiest of tricks.
You put on an act to get sick leave, what you get back is the dry heaves.
Yo ho heave ho, yo ho heave ho. I think that I am getting sick.
Once upon a time your advice was worth more than a dime.
Your fair share is always less than the traffic will bear.
You smile the while when I bid you fond adieu.
On hearing the phrase "How now, brown cow," some brown cows have a cow.
To others "Have a cow, brown cow... is deliriously funny. And how!
But not one little giggle will tickle
my
funny bone.
Next Sadie Hawkins Day, to your dismay the lady will entone,
"Speak to me only with thine eyes and I'll pledge not one thin dime.
Or leave a kiss within the cup and, yuck! Waste it that way, what a crime!"
Drum rolls roll, droll trolls stroll, sad souls repine in miserable gaols,
creepy creatures get the heebie jeebies, they be such miserable moles,
head starters head back to their quarters, their scene is seein' is believin'.
To them, chewin' the fat in website chats 'n powpows is powerful relievin'.
|:But I reach deep down into my memory and get myself a short sweet song
of giving and receiving, of faith, hope, love, peace, and of longing to belong.
The bonds between many words and particles (technically speaking, morphemes and allomorphs) are subatomic, seemingly as strong as the molecular coefficient ostended in the following formula: as D = lim t?ƒ16Nmt? ?j=1Nm[rj(t) ? rj(0)]2?
Now it behooves me express my gratitude to all of the misses and misters
who have been of service to me and it would be very remiss of me not to.
I shall commence with Mr. Chance* and continue on with Mr. E. Gulch,
Mr. E. Meal, Mr. E. N. Greedyent, Mr. E. Mann, Mr. Ted E. Bayer,
Mr. Waite A. Minnett, Mr. N. V. Abel, Mr. Ammon Olde Fisher,
Mr. Landon C. Schor, Miss Sue Pryze, Mr. Ngo Gho, Mrs. D. Schopin Spries
Miss D. C. Schor, Miss L. Ainee, Miss Y. O. Wye, Miss Amy Able,
Miss Terri Storey, Miss Bea Haven, Mrs. N. E. Mann, Mrs. F. U. Knute,
Mr. I. Doan Note, Mrs. N. Troph, Mrs. Sumner Winter, Mra. N. L. Loyd Joyce,
Mrs. Sonia Synnette, Mrs. Kerry P. Potts, Mrs. O. C. Auerbach.
*Mr. Chance = Missed her chance... Get it? GOT IT! For you little kiddies, Ted E. Bayer = Teddy Bear. I give this out absolutely free of charge just to get you started. I figger you're smarter than thistle man, so nuff said!
Lyrics: Wendell Hall
Tune: La Mer (The Sea)
Claude Debussy
