Howdy Do

Boy Howdy had a hang-up. No Girl Howda.

"Howda Do, Howda Do," remained his refrain. But then he thought this through and analysized it, talkin' to his own sef, his very own sef.

"How da I do what?" He would grit his teeth 'n git it out.

Far as I know, U are Howdy Done not Do. Howdy Donefor, as a matter of fact and public record insomuch 'n insofar as a body (any body) can see or tell. (I, for one, CAN see but ain't tellin'.) So how on earth or any wear else howdy ye suspose I ma sposed t' git a handle on what I done... or, more specifically specified, on what I ain't done. This he said quite openly and out loud.

Diddledy skwaht is wut, so howdy dickens 'm I sposed to
judge wut 'e AIN'T done? A fine pickle o' fish, iffen ya
ask me. Oh, oh. Oh! No! Our policy here and elsewhere
for that matter and any manner o' means happins t' be
Dohn ask, dohn tell! So Ima askin' you, how as a
consequence and consequently, therefore kin ah ask, tell,
ask and tell, either one or both or say 'n tell, as the case or
situation may be, now I ask you.

Allow me to inject or interject here an observation which
I have observed: Your powers of observation are so
indistinct that they are undistinguished and/or
indistinguishable or -ible... Let's not quibble over a
hangin' preposition or particle, part of a ciple, nipple or
whatever. Let's not get into a situation or predicament to
the extent of which is such as we would actually have to
ask the Gipper.


Translation: Wendell Hall (No attempt to capture the rime but, at best, an Anglo reflection of the shimmering silver French.)