FINEST BY FAR SCRAMBLED EGGS

Wendell Hall

Temperature and dicing are the keys to fixing the finest dish of eggs on earth. For best results use no more than four eggs at a time, unless you have a very large skillet. Olive oil is best. Add a copious amount to the pan and as it's warming up add the eggs.

Continue heating until the "white" of the eggs is white. Lower the temperature a bit and start mashing the eggs. A variety of mashers are available. I finish up with quick slices of a sharp knife. The idea is to cut little cubes of egg approximately an eighth of an inch per side, so not too much egg at a time. Keep it thin. Salt and pepper to taste. Stir and chop.

It's a dicey procedure so I call it dicing. Serve piping hot. Folks will love 'em so, you will have to do several batches. Do not dilute the extra fine taste with too much buttered toast.

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UNA TORTILLA DE ORO

A Golden Argentine Omelette

Wendell Hall

A tortilla (torteezha)—Argentine style—made with potatoes, onion and egg. Always with olive oil. Best for taste, heart and health.

Averse to peeling potatoes* since Army days, Hall substitutes French fries crisp and hot from a drive-in, cut to short lengths, added to chopped onions, and fried till soft (al dente). Then, having seasoned the egg batter just right (salt, pepper, a dash of chili powder or anything else you want to experiment with), he pours it in and forks it evenly around.

After one side is done, the trick is to put a lid on the pan, turn it over so the tortilla comes out onto the lid, put the pan back on the stove, slide the tortilla back in, and brown it to golden perfection on the other side. Then, WOW! Olé! A perfect tortilla de oro. A golden tortilla. A speedy tortilla.

A cast-iron skillet seems to be best. They can be heavy, so unless you are any man's equal in strength, good sense, and good manners, get some manly help in flipping the tortilla over. Do not get burned! Be, oh, so careful.

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*No KP duty for him! In basic training in the Army, KP meant "Kitchen Patrol" and it seemed to consist more often of peeling potatoes than anything else. No one escaped from it except for "goldbrickers" (shirkers and loafers), geniuses at avoiding work like Sgt. Klinger in M*A*S*H.

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No drive-in fries readily available? Cut up potatoes in thin slices and fry your own. Hall prefers to fry onion and potato separately, getting them just right (half way between raw and burnt) before combining them and pouring and mixing in the egg.

A Spanish tortilla (torteelya, in Castilian) is basically the same, but Spaniards add peas and other stuff not as inviting to the palate, in the opinion of passionate, discriminating gourmets.

Another of Hall's specialities is his Rancho Eggos, in reality a speedy kind of egg foo yong. Use your best leftovers (especially rice and gravy), at least one egg per person, hard noodles, potato chips (from the bottom of the bag or crush some), soy sauce (La Choy), medium or hot chili sauce (to taste), grated cheese (Parmesan is excellent) and lettuce, chopped up fairly fine.

If there is no leftover gravy, make some with a turkey, chicken or beef mix. If you have water chestnuts or other oriental additives, very good!

Add a surprise ingredient occasionally; for example, chopped pecans, for added crunch and exquisite flavor. Chopped hazel nuts (filberts) are just as good or better. Try some bacon bits. Just mix everything together, adding the lettuce last.

Have a guessing game, a challenge to be first to identify a secret ingredient that imparts a new taste thrill. Thrills that cause Hall to say "Down, boys! Down!" to his taste buds... Rancho eggos get them so excited!

Hall knows he is omitting lots of possibilities. Hard to recall all the great stuff that he's found in the fridge to add to the pan. Rancho eggos are never the same twice in a row. An ADVENTURE every time. Oh, what a hit Hall is! Everyone clamors for rancho eggos.

EUGENE'S SUPREME SARDINES


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